One For The Road

One thing that people consistently overlook in football is the fact that, for example, however bad the teams at the bottom are, only 3 go down. However good the teams at the top are, only one can win, three go up, etc. This couldn't have been demonstrated more clearly then yesterday in the Premiership.

Four teams at the bottom [1] needed a result against higher placed opposition who had nothing to play for. They all lost. They were mostly [2], by all accounts, abysmal. Then of course what happened was that Hull and Sunderland celebrated like they had won the Champions League, when what they were actually celebrating was being about 3% less fucking awful than Newcastle and Boro. And for what ? So they can do it all again next year.

Let's be clear. Those four teams have been absolutely stinking the place out since Christmas. FFS they all finished at least nine points behind Stoke. And next year, mark my words, it's going to be even worse. Wolves, Birmingham and the playoff winners will compete in the Premiership in the sense that they won't really be much worse than Hull, Sunderland, Stoke, Portsmouth, Bolton and Wigan. If they can put a few points in the bag before they get sussed, they'll have every chance. It worked for Hull.

The other frightening thing is how much money the game is sucking up via these extremely moderate outfits. On Match of the Day last night Jonathan Pearce said that fifteen of the Newcastle squad earn more than 50 grand a week. OK, it was Jonathan Pearce, but he can't just make that up can he ? Later he said that relegation would cost them £100 million. Now, there seems to be an unspoken agreement that any time someone mentions this amount of money, whether in the context of relegation from the Prem or promotion from the Champ, they have to say something higher than the last time someone said it. It can't be that much. Can it ? But the funny thing was I was sitting there thinking "so where does it all go ? ... oh right, the wages".

People within the game are still trying to sell this notion that the Premiership is a great competition. When asked about Newcastle's relegation, Steve Bruce said "It just goes to show how competitive the Premiership is". No, what it actually goes to show is how shit Newcastle are. The bottom eight or so is "competitive" in the sense that they're all about equally terrible, except that a couple of them (Bolton, Stoke) are better organised and kick people to better effect.

More and more people outside the game, on the other hand, have realised that the money, and the Champions League money in particular, is making the league much less competitive, in overall terms. Last year's top six : United, Chelsea, Arsenal, Liverpool, Everton, Villa. This year : United, Liverpool, Chelsea, Arsenal, Everton, Villa. Net change : Liverpool moved up two places. Next season - anyone want to take a wild guess ?

Look, I'm sure it's great if you're a top four fan. Most of your home league games consist of trying to get past the opposition bus parked in the goal area, but what the hell, you usually win anyway, and there's your Cups and Champions League. But from the outside, it's basically crap. And the worst thing is that the very height of my own club's ambition is to do a Fulham and elbow their way to 7th for a season or two, which to be honest they could maybe do, with a different owner anyway. But so what if we did ? Is that all there is ? If that's all there is, my friend, let's go and play golf instead.


[1] Incidentally Fulham and Spurs, the only other teams with something to play for, also lost

[2] Sunderland maybe get a pass against Chelsea.

Update 26/5 : In the light of the above, and how impressed I've been with them the last 2 seasons at Loftus Road, I think Burnley could be a really good bet to stay up next season.