Juventus Still Appealing

Well, obviously they aren't [1]. A statement today said "Relegation will, above all, gravely damage the identity of Juventus,". Above all ? Really ? Playing in Serie B for a season or two is more damaging to your identity than, I don't know, being a bunch of cheating cunts ?

Juventus may have had titles stripped and medals returned but to my logical mind, this isn't enough. Not all the brackets have been closed. For example, players still have happy memories of victory parades through the merry streets of Turin. In order to reverse this, all the same players, and the bent officials of course, should be made to go on "parades of shame" through the cities of the clubs who were runners up in the particular seasons. The joyous fans of their opponents could then pelt them with rotten fruit, chicken heads etc. Unless those clubs themselves were also implicated, and they'd end up having to do it in Foggia or somewhere like that. Which is most likely, given the state of Italian football. As Noel Coward said in The Italian Job "you're only supposed to blow the bladdy doors off", er I mean, "Camp Freddie - everybody's bent".

[1] This joke is the reverse of Jose Mourinho's statement that Chelsea will be "more offensive" this season.