The FA Cup Is Super Ghey

IMO. Of course the media think it's great because they can trot out all their cliches about plucky postmen and all that bollocks. Everyone else only watches it in the hope that Johnny Big Nobs United get embarrassed by Scungeford. But even when they do, newsflash to Scungeford : no one actually cares about you.

Still, provided these no-marks tug their forelocks and slope off after their five minutes are up, that's not so bad. However, now that everyone seems to be obsessed with money and nothing else, they start getting uppity. First off, Droylsden. They play a guy who is suspended and he scores both goals in their 2-1 win. Bang to rights you would think. But no. Their defence going into an appeal, seriously, was "It is not as if we have brought a ringer in at the last minute ... It was a genuine mistake by our secretary. Fine us by all means but don't kick us out". Oh well that's alright then. Once people start on this "but ... but ... it's us !!" line of argument it's such an insult to the intelligence of everyone involved. There are such things as precedent and deterrent. You let this go through and Chelsea will play John Terry in the final even though he decapitated four opponents last week and say "Oh, was he suspended ?" *clicks fingers at minion* "Cheque book ?". Doryslenden, whatever the hell they're called, their chairman also said if they didn't get reinstated he would "throw himself off the nearest bridge". Still waiting for news of that.

Then I might have let that go until those frightful nouveau riches Histon started chirping. On Saturday the referee had the nerve to call their game off because the pitch was like concrete. For some reason, I can't even see how this helps anyone, their chairman put it down to pressure from their evil scheming League opponents, Swansea City. "when [the referee] arrived, he had the assistant manager of Swansea and a number of their staff in his earhole, saying the pitch was not fit. " raged the Histon chairman. Except it turns out that the only Swansea official present was their physio, who said nothing other than "no, we've enjoyed our five [hour] bus trip so much we are all desperate to do it again next week" when accused of wanting to get the game called off. Presumably this is all something to do with Histon having to pay police and catering expenses twice. You haven't heard of insurance then ?

My message to non-league clubs is simple. You got your big draw, take your money, kick as many professionals as you can for 90 minutes, shut the hell up and fuck off. Magic of the cup my arse.

NB : This post is completely unrelated to the fact that QPR haven't won an FA Cup tie since 2001.