Angle-Shooting In Football

Not even I have enough free time (or sadness) to read the League Paper's 64 page non-league supplement from cover to cover. Any time you do need to know what's happening in the Toolstation Western Les Phillips League Cup or the Silver Star Holidays Gwynedd Eyri Sheild Round 1 though, you'll know where to look. But it can be worth skimming for 10 minutes. If you think coin-throwing is bad, spare a thought for Woodley Sports left-back Jamie Kay. While minding his own business during the Unibond League clash with Alsager Town, he heard a strange whistling noise and turned round to see a "metre-long metal arrow" stuck in an advertising hoarding going Boingngngngngng. This had apparently been fired from outside the ground and missed him by "inches". You have to be pretty tough to play non-league in Manchester. Although this is belied by the fact that the game was promptly abandoned. Wimps. Nat Lofthouse used to play with metre-long metal arrows sticking in him like a porcupine.

What really caught my eye though was a kerfuffle in the Unibond League (clearly where the action is) Challenge Cup game between AFC Telford United and Leek Town. The game went to a penalty shoot-out. Telford had had a man sent off so, you might not know this rule, but that means that Leek Town nominate one of their players who won't take a penalty, so if 10 penalties doesn't resolve it, both teams start again with the first player. Leek nominated their goalkeeper, at which point Telford claimed that he had to sit out the shoot-out entirely so an outfield player had to go in goal. Machiavellian to say the least. On the day, the ref told them to shut up being twats and get on with it but, not satisfied, Telford appealed against this injustice, only to have that rejected too. Nice try. Now fuck off.